Let the waiting begin ...

Dear Emi,
Our wait began this morning when Dr. Chan checked my cervix and declared it "unfavorable."

I'd had a long, mostly sleepless night. The day before I ran around in a crazed state of nesting, doing laundry, shopping for more baby things and stopping at this amazing stamp store to get cards for your birth announcements. By the end of the day, I was so tired I couldn't sleep. I lay in bed next to your daddy, my mind racing with all the things we still had to do before your arrival, and panic set in. "Oh my god. What the hell are we going to do with a little baby?" I asked, near tears and half-asleep.

The last thing I remember before finally dozing off was your daddy wrapping his arms around me, calmly telling me that everything would be fine. "You're going to be a great mother. That's why I married you."

I was awake again by 3 a.m. I passed the time folding laundry, lining the drawers in your dresser with this lovely pink, Paris-themed paper that Niesha wrapped your gifts with, packing for the hospital, eating a bowl of chili and blogging. I managed to catch a few more Z's sometime after 5 o'clock, then woke up and changed the bed linens before taking a shower and heading to the doctor's office.

I was so busy, I forgot to eat. All my activity must've worn you out, too, because after I was hooked up to the fetal monitor it quickly became clear you'd fallen asleep. Although I poked my belly in the hopes of prodding you to move, you didn't budge. Sure enough, Dr. Chan had to shake you up before determining you were still okay in there.

Next, he checked my cervix, not the most comfortable of exams. As I winced, it occurred to me that labor would be a lot more discomfiting, but I tried not to dwell on it too much. At one point during the examination, Dr. Chan told us he was nudging your head. I laughed out loud. Your head, Emi! Can you imagine? You were so close!

But alas, although my cervix was soft it was tightly closed. Dr. Chan said he'd check me again on Monday and if I was still unfavorable, he'd push it to Thursday and at that point he'd have to go in and induce labor one way or the other.